When I was small I used to wonder. I wondered about the world beneath my feet and the world above my head. I cannot recall much of that world, but I remember it as one of infinite possibilities, full of wonder and secrets to unearth. The grass was alive then. The stars spoke of a timeless glory. And though being small I could not quite decipher their wisdom, I knew it didn’t matter for I had only to listen. This is the story of all kids everywhere.
Yet somewhere back, that world disappeared. I lost that sense of wonder, concerning myself instead with more pressing matters of social acceptance, how I looked or what I would buy or eat or wear. Perhaps this is the greatest wonder of all – that we pass our lives too caught up in the trivial and mundane to ever stop to wonder of the higher questions of our existence – of who we are, what we have come for or where we are going. When Yuddhistra, the wisest of the Pandavas was quizzed as to what was the strangest of all the world’s wonders, his reply was not least profound. No man he replied, though seeing death all around him truly believed in the certainty of his own passing. This is the great mystery, the maya to which the scriptures allude.
In time we are all statistics – our lifetime a mere speck on eternity, and all our triumphs and tribulations nothing more than an empty dream. This is the harsh truth we must all sooner or later confront. I say this not to kill aspiration, but rather to help us find perspective and review our priorities. Life is too short, and if there is one thing we ought to fear, perhaps it is forgetting to live. It seems only yesterday I was a child, starry-eyed, wondering what life would hold. Tomorrow I will be a memory. And before long, that too will be lost in the relentless march of time. It is no doubt a frightening thought. But we cannot afford to live in fear. We cannot truly live without knowing what we are living for. If anything we must rekindle that spirit of enquiry and sense of wonder we all once possessed.
What is that grand purpose for which I have come, the truth of my being – that inscrutable essence that cries ‘I am’? These are the questions we must be asking. It may seem far removed from the realities of exams and mortgages and nightmarish commutes, yet in truth, nothing matters more. The answers are all around, should we choose to listen. As the poet W.H Davies once wrote, “What is this life if full of care, we have no time to stand and stare?” Indeed we need only to stare at the spectacle that surrounds us, life expressing itself in the dance of ages. “Arjuna, know that everything you perceive in the universe is that power...[and] you could no more be separate from Me than you could be separate from your very life”. It was the Lord who declared thus in the Gita. And though I cannot feel it as yet, I cry at the enormity of those words for I know deep down that this is my life’s work – the culmination of lifetimes. Deep down, perhaps we all know we have lost something. Our hearts long to break free from this prison self, from the petty whims of mine and thine. Mostly we ache, for we have yet to taste the ecstasy of union with all life. However much we may try, we cannot find lasting fulfilment in a finite world. In our heart of hearts we crave for something more. We will not settle for anything short of perfect fulfilment. Ultimately, as Bhagawan reminds us time and again, in the infinite alone is bliss. Let us aim for nothing less.
Sai Love,
Thanushan Bala.
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